No matter how good a relationship is, it isn’t immune to the stressors of life. Chronic stress, lack of awareness, and less-effective coping strategies can all create a phenomenon known as relationship burnout.
It’s an exhaustion that can lead to negative views, fatigue, and loneliness that put a strain on your relationship. It gets to the point where your relationship feels like work rather than a support system. Here are five signs that may indicate burnout.
1. Constant Fighting
One of the first signs of relationship burnout is when you and your partner are fighting all the time. This is especially significant when you both don’t normally have arguments.
Some disagreements or arguments are considered to be healthy, providing an opportunity for growth and relationship development. But, when your arguments start to be consistent and repetitive, it starts to shift away from growth and resolution and more towards frustration.
If you’re constantly fighting with your partner, evaluate how you feel after the argument concludes. Are you feeling closer to your partner? Do you have more of an understanding about the issue? If the answer is no, you could be heading down a troubled road.
2. Feeling of Disconnect
Another sign of burnout is feeling disconnected from your partner. When a relationship is in the beginning stages, you spend tons of quality time together, getting to know one another. As a relationship progresses, that quality time turns into maintaining that understanding of each other and continuing to grow.
When you’re becoming fatigued with your relationship, you may not spend as much quality time together anymore. You may find yourself feeling happy, relieved, or stress-free when they aren’t around. You might also make active attempts to spend time away from your partner when the option arises.
3. Reduced or Lack of Intimacy
Intimacy and sex, whatever that looks like for your relationship, are an important foundation stone. That time alone with your partner is what brings you closer together and fulfills a raw human need.
As you hit a point of burnout, you may find your intimate time with your partner has significantly declined. Or worse, it’s no longer existent. It’s not uncommon for people to use children or work as a reason that intimate time has declined, but it’s more likely a sign of relationship burnout.
One way to assess the situation is noting if you’re attracted to other people. Now, just because you’re in a relationship doesn’t mean you won’t notice other men or women, but it should just be a surface level observation. When you’re truly invested in your partner, there shouldn’t be a deep physical or emotional attraction to someone outside of your relationship.
4. Being Overly Critical
In a healthy relationship, you will build each other up and make each other better. This holds true in arguments or in daily life in general.
When you’re experiencing relationship burnout, you may find yourself being overly critical of your partner or cynical about them. That positive energy gets replaced with expecting the worst from them or spiraling into a place of contempt. Little things can easily start to boil over into full blow outs or become tears in the relationship bond.
5. You’re Easily Distracted
Another key sign of relationship burnout is that you’re easily distracted when you’re around your partner. During conversations, you struggle to stay present and fully attend to them. Pieces of conversations get missed, either making each other feel unappreciated or leading to further arguments.
Healthy relationships balance and thrive on good communication practices. If you’re not able to be present with your partner, you’re not practicing good communication.
The good news is that you can fix a relationship that’s going through a burnout phase. If any of this sounds familiar, it’s time to address what’s really going on. Contact us today to learn how our couples therapy can help you.
