Effective communication is important for establishing trust, problem solving, strengthening bonds, working through conflict, and creating a safe space within the family unit. Sadly, communication isn’t always an easy venture. Whether it’s busy schedules or dynamics with one of your family members, there can be challenges along the way.
Here are some important family communication skills and how to work on them.
1. Listen
Healthy communication always involves a listening component. Active listening includes more than just hearing words, but also engaging with the person speaking while listening. You need to be present in conversation and display a certain level of empathy.
Through active listening, you can build trust and strengthen your bonds. It paves the way for more effective open and honest communication.
Just like any other skill, active listening takes practice. Here are things you can practice:
- When someone is speaking, give them your full attention
- Try to get on their level and make eye contact
- Summarize their statements
- Ask relevant questions
- Avoid rationalizing; remember, their emotions are theirs to feel
2. Avoid Placing Blame
Conflicts are unavoidable in any relationship, especially amongst family members. Believe it or not, it’s considered normal and somewhat healthy in the right context. When the time comes for conflict, avoid immediately pointing a finger.
Conflict is another way to strengthen your family bond and gain a deeper understanding of each other. The next time conflict arises:
- Be open to all sides of the situation
- Try using “I” statements to express your feelings
- Don’t go on the defensive
3. Be Clear and Concise
When you spend a lot of time with someone, it’s easy to assume they will know what you’re thinking or be able to decipher messages without the full context. Unfortunately, this is far from the truth. Clear and concise communication can minimize misunderstandings and promote honest discussions.
Communication that is clear and concise allows you to express your true feelings. It also creates an environment of trust.
To practice this skill:
- Plan what you want to say ahead of time
- Stay on the topic
- Be direct with your discussion
- Limit unnecessary details
- Clarify any misunderstandings on the spot
4. Be Mindful of Non-Verbals
According to studies in the communication field, almost 93% of our communication can be classified under the non-verbal category. This includes gestures, body language, facial expression, and tone of voice. There are instances where what you say may contradict what your non-verbal communication is conveying and vice versa.
Being mindful of your non-verbal cues as well as noticing those of your family members is crucial for healthy communication. Practice this skill by:
- Paying attention to body language
- Watching facial expressions
- Listening to their tone
- Maintaining eye contact
5. Disagree Respectfully
As mentioned, conflicts are going to arise from time to time. Each of you has your own ideas and opinions. When you find yourself in a disagreement, remember to still be respectful towards the other side of the argument. This can be especially important during the approaching political season, with big life events, and during periods of transition.
Being able to disagree and remain cordial and respectful fosters an atmosphere of trust and safety. It shows you can disagree, but still value the person behind the differing opinion. Steps you can take include:
- Remaining calm
- Seeking common ground
- Focusing on the issue rather than the person you’re conversing with
- Apologizing when you know you’re in the wrong
6. Ask for Help
Knowing your limitations can be helpful in creating and maintaining these healthy communication habits. Despite your best efforts, you may still struggle with family dynamics and incorporating the important communication skills.
Never be afraid to ask for further help when it’s necessary. Family therapy can help to better assess the situation, offer guidance on implementing these skills, and modifying or practicing in the right context.
If you’re interested in diving deeper into healthy communication habits for your family, contact us today to learn more about family therapy.
