Feeling like a failure can be extremely disheartening. You’ve put a great deal of effort and time into something and then it didn’t turn out the way you were hoping. Maybe you didn’t fail, but the outcome still causes you to feel like an underachiever.
Holding on to feelings of failure can take a toll on your mental health or stunt your performance in future endeavors. When this becomes a chronic feeling, you can begin to develop anxiety or depression.
Knowing how to cope with this emotion is key to maintaining confidence and motivation. Here are five strategies you can start using today.
1. Feel Your Feelings
No one likes to feel down or unhappy. It’s easy to push away negative feelings, especially those of failure, as far away as possible. By brushing them aside, you might feel you’re doing yourself a favor. But more often than not, you’re actually doing yourself a disservice.
We’re emotional beings. Whether we’re experiencing positive or negative emotions, they’re going to demand to be acknowledged. When you don’t feel your feelings, they will keep resurfacing and causing you distress.
When failure occurs, or you’re feeling frustrated about your performance, let yourself feel those feelings. Acknowledge that you’re sad, disappointed, or upset. Processing through your emotions will allow you to move onward and upward.
2. Practice Positive Self Talk
We’re our own biggest critics and can easily turn to negative self-talk when discouraged. This type of tone can be problematic, oftentimes unrealistic and exaggerated. You may fail at something and immediately jump to ineffective conclusions.
It’s important to fight against any tendency to turn towards the negative. Changing your narrative and using positive self-talk is a helpful way to cope. Give yourself encouragement in moments of stress. Praise yourself for your abilities. When needed, be constructive with positive words that will promote continued confidence.
3. Accept that Failure Is a Normal Part of Life
No matter who you are, you’re going to experience failure at some point. It’s a completely normal part of life that we often forget or try to avoid.
Just about any great invention or highly successful person is the product of failure. Failures are opportunities to learn from your mistakes and make the necessary adjustments. Next time you make a mistake, don’t view it as a failure. Instead, view it as an opportunity for personal growth.
Failures are not a reflection of your worth and value. Change that narrative and take the lesson of achieving something even greater on the next go around.
4. Know You’re Not Alone
In the age of social media and having everyone else’s life visible 24/7, it’s even harder not to compare yourself to others. In moments of failure, we have this natural tendency to compare ourselves to what other people have been able to do. Whether the circumstances are the same or not, we use their story as a benchmark for our own.
It’s important to remember that you are not alone in failing at something or feeling like you have been an underachiever. It’s easy to see the good that people want to portray outwardly, but forget that they also had moments of struggle.
If you hit a point where you feel you aren’t measuring up, try to give yourself some grace. Remember, you’re not alone. Repeat that reminder until you believe it.
5. Practice Self-Care
When you find yourself in a rut, do something positive every day. This positivity will keep you moving in the right direction and allow you to shed the negative emotions more quickly.
Practice self-care activities that release mental stress and physical well-being. When you’re in a good head space and feel good, you’ll be more motivated to focus on the bigger picture rather than the occurrence of this failure.
If you’re struggling with feelings of failure, you don’t have to manage this on your own. Contact us today to learn more about coping strategies and treatment options for anxiety or depression.
